Encouraging Individuality in Twins

Your multiples can have identical appearance but still they are different personalities. Help your children discover their personalities and stay yourself.
Encouraging Individuality in Twins

Separate Experiences
While you will be trying to carry out all or some of the suggestions, mentioned above, you may probably be wishing to know if separate experiences should be provided for your multiples, as one of the ways of assisting them in their individual development. Of course there is some benefit in the separation providing, but your children are to become mature enough and they are to be ready to accept it. If you see, that providing some outing for one of your multiples at a time is difficult for you to do from the financial or logical point of view.  Then you should probably try something more simple, like some kind of short special talk- times, with each of your children, which will be going on every morning or every time before they go to bed.

different_twinsIt is also possible to divide your children, like if you have twins, you may take one kid for an outing, and your partner takes the second. However, if you have higher order multiples, like triplets, quadruplets, etc, you will need some outer help to be provided. Though, it may also work, if you go out with one of your children, while the rest of kids stay at home with the other parent. Such short periods away from co – multiples, let each children have a direct interaction with their parents, without help, interference or competition from each other. Moreover, it is especially good, if one of the multiples in your family is more verbal and aggressive, and usually expresses needs for the quieter one/ones. These separate times let more shy child/children become able to “speak for yourself”. Moreover, this experience is extremely useful for the development for language skills and a sense of individual social competence. However, few of little multiples will be able to understand this kind of your behaviour, as staying home is something like punishment for them. In order to avoid, your partner should think of doing something interesting, like watching some interesting cartoon, playing some new game, etc. so, that the home – left child/children would not feel abused.

If you see, that it is either difficult for you or makes your multiples upset, you should not better arrange any kinds of separate experiences. Remember, that pure physical separation does not make people individuals, as there is something much more important, which lets establish individual relationships with each of your children, it is treating each of them in your own way, however, not in the way, which makes other children feel somewhat neglected. What you are to do is to acknowledge each of your children’s interests and achievements with a smile and praise, attend to the needs of them, as presented. When they will feel, that you treat each of them like an individual personality, they will be able to learn to see themselves the same way as well.



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