Separation in School
Talking about separate experiences and individuation, it is not possible to skip the question of the multiples’ placement in school. Considering everything, mentioned above, it would be logical to assume, that twins, triplets, or other multiples would feel better, if they were placed in different classrooms. In addition, many school administrators do follow the policy of separating twins, beginning from kindergartens, despite their parents’ wishes, considering that this will help children to develop into independent individuals and decrease problems for their teachers.
However, nearly all twin development research, which has been conducted during the last twenty years, and the experience of millions of multiples raising families, prove completely the opposite. It has been discovered, that those multiples, who are not separated in preschool and stay together as long as they wish to be themselves during their early elementary years prove to provide much better adjustment academically as well as socially, than those multiples, who are separated. Few multiples of four – five years of age are ready to make the transition fro their homes and parents to school and handle separation from their lifelong companion simultaneously. It is even possible for multiples, which are separated too early to become so much anxious about their brothers or sisters whereabouts and welfare, that they are simply not able to get concentrated on the learning and socializing processes. However, separation, when they are in later grades occurs in naturally and easy ways, as the children’s adjustment to school is accomplished by that time as a rule. Moreover, the kids’ individuality development may even get delayed, rather than enhanced in case of too early school separation.
Let Them Be Themselves
Some parents may be trying to impose some differences between their multiples, which do not exist possibly. Usually it happens because the parents’ wish to enhance the individualities development promotion. But it should be clear for everyone, that most identical multiples and even some fraternal ones may have similar interests and abilities, and their parents must not deprive them of the possibility to have the same hobbies, lessons, sports, etc, especially if they see, that it is really what the children are inclined to do. You, being a child of multiples should better learn to support and respect their true inclination as much as it is possible for you to do, no matter whether these interests and abilities are alike of different.
Twins as well as other higher order multiples arrive into this world being in a uniquely close and complex relationship with each other, and these relationship may even be more intimate, than marriage. Though it is not the reason to get panicked, as your children probably know more about how they should conduct and maintain their long – term relationship, than those of us, who arrived into this world as singletons. However, on the other hand, the task of how to become an independent adult individuality is usually much more complicated for twins or other multiples, than it is for the rest of us. And these are parents, who are able and should help their children to become individualities without violating this close unbreakable bond, which exists between them.
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