|Encouraging Individuality in Twins|
|Nearly all parents of twins or other multiples get worried about their children being able to develop individually and become independent from each other, when their experiences and environment are nearly the same, especially if they look alike. Most parents concern about media accounts of adult twins, triplets, quadruplets, etc, who keep living together and dress alike, and who seem never to have become separate people and lead separate ways of life. These parents are interested in what can they do in order to prevent their children from being like all these, mentioned above.|
Here come simple, though extremely helpful and important things, which parents and other members of the family, where twins or triplets have arrived, can do in order to prevent these children from being mutually dependant and to promote healthy identity development in each of these babies.
You should give the babies distinctly different names. In case if the babies already have been named by similar sounding names, the way out of this situation may be using a nickname or middle name for at least one, or even both of them in order to lessen confusion.
Buy your children different clothes, and do not dress them alike on a regular basis after their infant period. There are not so many families, which will be able to resist the image of identically dressed twin babies, and there is nothing bad in it during first years of their life. Because wearing identical clothes emphasize the twins “unit”, and make it more difficult for strange people and even most of your friends or relative to distinguish them, you should better not dress older twins or triplets in the same outfits, and in case if they do have identical clothes, you may simply do not use them on the same day.
Separate their clothes; you may even put labels on them. Do not keep them in the same drawers, let each of your children have his or her own wardrobe, in order to be able to choose his or her own clothes and get dressed. However, you should not mind, if your twins wish to dress alike, as you may simply give them a varied wardrobe and keep reminding, that wearing the same clothes, they make different for other people to know which of them is which.
Give each child his or her own toys, and before your twins or triplets will be able to understand the point of sharing with each other or taking turns and trading, they are to have some understanding of ownership. In case if all the toys as well as other things belong to all of them together, it makes more difficult for them to consider themselves as being separate people, independent from each other.
You should refer each of them using their names, and do not call them simply “twins” or “children”, and you are to let other people do the same. When your children begin to go to school, you may even give them name tags, in case if you feel it necessary, or simply let them put on clothes of different colours, so, that everyone would know that “Mike always wears something green, and Pete always wears something blue.”
For your babies’ birthdays, you can cook two, three, four, etc small cakes, and sing the “Happy Birthday” song as many times, as many kids are celebrating their birthdays. It would also be good for your twins, triplets, quadruplets to receive different gifts from their parents, grandparents, other relatives, friends, etc. You should keep in mind, that there is nothing more frustrating to children than being presented one gift and share it with each other.
Do not get worried, if you see that it is not possible to manage all of the suggestions, mentioned above, at the same time. You should probably try to introduce them step by step, so, that neither you nor your children feel anything odd is going on, as you are to accept it as natural.