Being exhausted physically often leads to the emotional stress. You and your partner may feel physically exhausted already, but your babies’ demands seem to be endless, it is easy to get depressed, irritated, and inadequate. It is also possible that the stress of taking care for twins, triplets, etc calls into question emotional issues, which run far deeper. If you consider, that you are to feel boundless “natural” or “instinctive” love for your babies, you may be experiencing self – doubt, when your multiples’ demands begin to far beyond your emotional supply. In addition, the situation, when parents feel like they have a secret desire of having a singleton instead of their multiples is not uncommon.
If you are one of the women, who wish to be a Supermom, you are a potential candidate for having an emotional stress. You may have seen such Supermoms on television, who seem to be able to handle everything perfectly at all times, but this is completely not possible in real life. If you decided to be like those TV Supermoms, you may fail the first time, when you babies’ demands upset your fixed schedule, you may even become consider your babies’ behaviour as “sabotaging” your best – laid plans. And remember, if your idea of being a perfect mother only means always being well – organized and keep everything under your control, then loosing your grip may become like losing a precious part of yourself.
Trying to adjust your unrealistic expectations to fit the reality can cause deep emotional stress; however, acknowledging your own limits may at first seem like admitting failure, and reaming this skill is the only key to cope with your twins or other higher order multiples.
In order to reduce your emotional stress, you are to find time to be alone and to have an ability of rediscovering yourself apart from the role of mother, father, wife, husband, cook, housekeeper. It is a good idea to have periods separate from each other, as parents as well as their children need some time to be away from each other, and they feel comfortable in these situations. You may also exchange services with your friends of relatives in order to have some respite time.
If you are able to allow someone else to cake care after your twins or triplets, etc for some while is also a good way to get rid of the stress of constant nurturing. You need to go out together with your partner, or with some close friends of yours, with your colleagues, etc. You need to be waited at some restaurant from time to time, as it lessens your emotional stress greatly, and you become able to estimate the whole situation, and thus, even your feeling for your babies become different. As being away from your twins, you may feel like missing them, and have a wish to see them again as soon as possible.
Most parents, who raise multiples, consider their greatest resources to be their flexibility, sense of humor, endurance, and the ability to ask someone for help. The support, provided by friends, relatives, playgrounds, baby – sitters, community services, is really not only an emotional lifeline, but it is a great source of physical relief as well. Sometimes you will only need to talk to other parents of multiples, and you feel emotional relief and have a chance to exchange useful tips or raising and taking care for twins, triplets, etc. even if your problems are different, still you will feel comfortable of being aware, that you are not alone.
Although the environmental stress seems less obvious than the physical or emotional ones, it is quite possible as well. Any arrival of a new person results in more cramped living space, increased noise and constant interruptions, even if you live in a rural area, where your closet neighbours are ten miles away.
Though most of the environmental stressors are controllable, as you can easily cut down any interruption by unplugging the phone or using an answering machine while you are having meals or taking naps. In case if you find TV irritating, you should better limit its working time and do not overexpose yourself to the world’s crises, especially if you are being in the middle of your own. What you are to do is choose your own time to keep up on events, going on outside, so, that you do not become isolated completely.
You need to conduct simple checks of your home, and the disaster’ chances will be lowered. Having twin toddlers around any dangling phone cord, an iron left on and forgotten about, any sharp object may become a reason of an accident, and your getting stressed in the result. In order to minimize the hazard of any accident, you should work out a habit of finishing one task before moving to the second. Thus, keeping all potential stressors under control increase your sense of well – being and your confidence for other challenges.