Financial Burdens
Of course, twins, triplets, quadruplets, etc can not live as cheaply as a singleton. That is why you may be experiencing constant lack of money, as before your babies arrived, there were two of you, and you both worked, and both made money. However, now there are four, five, or even six of you, and your partner, if you have any is the only financial resource of your family. The only way out for you is to economize: use your relatives’ of friends’ cribs, clothing and other children equipment.
Still, the financial burden is not so simply to solve by only economizing. You still have to buy most of things for your multiples. Moreover, multiple childcare costs more, and it is more difficult to find a good and not very expensive childcare center, which makes a kind of dilemma for the mother, who wants to go on with her career. Moreover, the family may need a second paycheck, the woman’s income may only justify the costs, and besides, she will be needed at home as well. Most women experience huge inner conflict, if they come out to be in such a situation, and their partners are to be sensitive to these issues, when the double load of mothering makes their wives feel like losing out in both worlds. Any young mother is to realize, that before she decides to return to work, it is simply necessary to weigh all the dollars – and – cents gain against all expenses, which also includes the hidden cost of stress, which her family members may experience.
However, whether a woman decides to keep on working, or not, the sharing of household chores and taking care after her children is to be the greatest point of contention for her. One of the ways out of making your unpaid house chores more visible is to make up a daily list of all your household chores, beginning from shopping to washing, to feeding the babies and cleaning. After then you should either tell each of your family members his or her chores, or let each of them choose their own. This checklist lets people have sense of accomplishment and it provides more or less equal distribution of householding.
One of the issues, which will help you to reduce your stress is getting recognition for your work, no matter whether the family roles are traditional or nontraditional. Really, if each member of your family will show appreciation for your mutual help, and sensitivity to the needs of each other, will make the stress easier to cope with. Though, there will be periods, when even the best stress – controlling issues will seem useless for you, but the very process of getting aware what works for you and your family will help you to transform the hardest stress into strength and trauma into triumph.
For Staying Sane Under Multiple Stress: Do’s and Don’ts
Do
• Appoint your consultation with the TWINLINE counselor;
• Ask your relative, friends, neighbours, baby – sitters, community services, etc for assistance;
• Take short naps whenever you are able to;
• Try walking, swimming, yoga, aerobics, dancing, jogging or any other kind of physical exercise you would like to;
• Take some time for yourself; it may either be on a daily or weekly basis;
• Trust yourself;
• Find time to stay alone and be able to rethink yourself apart from the role of mother, father, wife, husband, etc.
• Keep your expectations realistic and flexible.
Don’ts
• Stay isolated at home;
• Account on drugs or alcohol;
• Feel guilty for your experiencing stress;
• Try to become a Supermom for your children, who are able to do everything without anybody’s assistance;
• Sacrifice your personal time and the ability to have fun and enjoy yourself for the sake of your twins, triplets, quadruplets, etc;
• Use your “personal time” to do some house chores, or grocery shopping;
• Expect your needs to be met without asking;
• Ever give up!
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